Real Life Couple Goals

My Granny is 89. My Grandpa is 92.

They have been married for 70 years. 

When I was young, they used to flirt and giggle in front of us.

Grandpa always giving Granny that sideways wink and grin. Granny always giggling “ooh Frank…”

They still flirt in front of us. 

They never hid their affection from each other, or from us.

They used to tell us the importance of always being a team. Of comprising.  Of meeting half way.

Of laughing at yourselves.  Of having fun.  Of keeping the intimacy alive. 

They showed us day in and day out what #realcouplegoals looked like.

They disagreed at times.

They got in arguments at times.

But rather than giving up, they took each moment of joy and each moment of struggle and weaved it into their family story.

Being with my partner for 13 years, starting a family and being in the thick of our 30's, careers, and juggling all things life, I now I look back at my Granny and Grandpa's relationship and some days wonder how the heck they did it while navigating the monotony and magnificent of everyday life (with 7 kids to boot)!

What are #CoupleGoals? 

When you google #couplegoals you find the next generation of Disney Fairy Tale Endings.

Instagram photos which may have you thinking love has to be, or look, a certain way.

Leaving you to never really know what happened after the prince and princess rode off into the sunset, but always imagining it was your definition of perfect – whatever that looks like to you.

With a 50/50 chance of having marriage end in divorce, maybe it is time we re-define what #couplegoals really look like.

The Reality of Relationships

Regardless of what anyone tells you or what they post on social media, relationships are not perfect and, at times, they do take more effort and work.  Especially after being together for years, getting lost in daily routines of everyday adulting life and child rearing. 

From my personal experience and ongoing work with families, I can almost guarantee:

• You will know each others 'trigger buttons', and will push them sometimes.
• You will have your patterns of communication which makes you want to pull your hair out at times.
• You will have times when the sex is “meh” and times when the sex is out of this world.
• You will have times when you want them close and times when you need your space.
• You will grow and change as individuals.
• You will grow and change as a couple.

Yet through it all you are weaving the fibers of YOUR family story together.

Creating #realcouplegoals.  

What are REAL #CoupleGoals? 7 Real Life Relationship Goals

In a day and age where with the swipe of your finger you think you will meet someone “better”. Where people are more connected than ever, yet more disconnected than ever, start to recognize what #reallove and #realcouple goals are:

1.  ↠ They day in and the day out of living your lives together.
2.  ↠ Navigating the emotional waves of marriage, parenting and the sometimes monotony of life together. 
3.  ↠ Allowing yourselves to grow as a couple and as individuals, while giving your love the opportunity to grow and change along with you.
4.  ↠ Learning and growing from your arguments, disagreements and times of struggle.
5.  ↠ Maturing and choosing not to 'push each others buttons', but rather work through your communication patterns and build healthier ones. 
6.  ↠ Being able to laugh together and to cry together -- at the situation, at the argument, at yourselves.
7.  ↠ Knowing when it is time to put in the extra effort and when it is time to seek outside help for those tougher times.

Marriage is hard at times. Marriage while parenting can be even harder.

But when you take a second to step back and realize what true love looks like - not the grandiose gestures or the posed Instagram posts - you will see the magic and love that is completely unique to you both\

Trying to combine, and grow, into parenthood while still keeping the ‘couplehood’ is a transition that is constantly evolving. 

You may not always agree, you may question the relationship, you may question yourself. 

But in the end, you always have a choice. A choice to grow together or grow apart.

There is no right or wrong answer in whether you grow together or grow apart but don't let your partner drift away without first checking in on your definition of #couplegoals and #reallove. 

Choose to love in real life,

Not fairytales. 

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