How To Stop Caring What Others Think

You know those times when you get super excited to try something new?

To follow your heart?

To put yourself out there?  

You feel a rush of passion, excitement and aliveness.

and suddenly your 'Negative Nancy' creeps inside your head and start asking questions like:

“what will people think?”,

“what will people say?”,

“I can’t do that….people will think I have gone off the deep end…”

Then you go into fear paralysis.

Talking yourself out of something your heart really wants to do because you are afraid of what someone may think or say.

The fear of being judged keeps so many of us from going after what we really want. 

Playing small. 

Feeling fearful. 

Staying stuck in our self imposed glass ceiling boxes. 

If you struggle with worrying about what other people think, you are not alone!

So many of us struggle with the thought of being judged. We just don't talk about it!

{Probably because we are afraid of being judged for talking about being judged! #ironic}

If you have ever tried to stop caring what others think you may have got the advice "to just stop caring" or to  "just not give other people’s opinions a second thought”. 

And although, yes, this is the ultimate goal, for many it is much harder to just get out of their heads and "just stop caring" 

Can you relate?

It was not until I learned about how our brain works and started to understand how our perceptions shape our realities that I was able to start breaking down the walls of caring so darn much about what other people think of me and start doing what my heart was telling me to do. 

Two Mindshifts to Let Go of Other People’s Judgments:

1. People are ALWAYS going to judge.

As much as we don't want to be judged...there is someone, somewhere who is not going to like something you do, something you say, something you wear. As humans we all tend to judge. Even if you think you do not judge, you probably do to a certain degree...

When we see someone on TV that triggers us, when we scoff at a social media post, when we have a fleeting thought about what someone said, how they looked, what they were wearing, etc, etc, etc. We all see the world through our unique perspectives and when we see something that may not fit into our reality or our worldview it is very easy to pass judgments unconsciously.

Accepting that no matter what you do, no matter how kind, loving and sweet you are, no matter the best intentions you have, someone will view you through their lens and make a judgment. Once you accept this fact you can shine a light on your fear of being judged and know that someone's fleeting judgement of you does not mean anything about you.

2. Other people judging you HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. It is THEIR STUFF. 

As mentioned above we all have our own perceptions and beliefs about the world. We all have our own filtered lens of how we see situations, events and circumstances. 

The perceptions and beliefs we were raised with form the way we look at the world.  

When someone is judging you…they are simply looking at you, your situation, your words, your choices, your looks, your whatever - through their unique lens of reality. 

It does not mean they are right or you are wrong - it simply means they are processing their stuff through their lens. Their beliefs. Their experiences. 

The crappy thing is - that often we INTERNALIZE other people’s perceptions as meaning something about ourselves and our self worth.

WHEN IN REALITY IT MEANS NOTHING ABOUT US!

3. Bonus Mindshift: Hurt People Hurt People.

Although many of us may subconsciously judge others, often we keep it to ourselves and keep scrolling. However it is often, the most insecure and unhappy people who are going to be the first to cast judgement and let you know about it. Whether it is being a roll, a 'keyboard warrior' or making snide comment to you.

I don’t know if you have heard this before but it is one to remember:

HURT PEOPLE, HURT PEOPLE. 

By shifting your perspective from letting others comments bring you down - to looking at their comments as simply their beliefs, perspectives and perhaps insecurities, will help you the next time you get fear paralysis.

Ultimately choosing to let others judgments define us, is a choice.

However, if you are like me, it takes time to process and move through this growth. 

It is not always just as simple as “not caring”. 

It is about going deeper into ourselves and understanding WHY we place so much value on others opinions and learning how to reprogram and change our own beliefs around this matter. 

What are you stopping yourself from doing because of fear of being judged? send me message or leave a comment below.

Don't let others darkness dim your light.... 

If you are interested in reprogramming your self limiting beliefs and letting go of judgement so you can have the confidence to try that new thing, to make that career decision, to live a more present life on your terms or to start that business start by downloading my free self limiting beliefs worksheet HERE.

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